Journey Back to the Mother
YEAR 2020, THE RECKONING
At this time on the planet, it feels as though everything is crumbling — our communities, our togetherness, our governments, some friendships, old ways of thinking and being. What an incredibly challenging, incredibly potent time to be alive. The old paradigm is ending, the reign of the patriarchy has gone stale, and all systems are dying to return to the truth — to return to the Mother. To unconditional love. To oneness, and to a New Earth.
The time in history we’re moving through aligns with my own personal journey into motherhood, with the birth of my first child, Atlas. As I navigate becoming a mother in my own right, I notice a parallel in how society is moving back to the Mother. May my journey and insights reflect this parallel for others, and may you interpret my experiences in a broader context, to support a journey back to the truth, as we — the human race — rebirth into who and what we truly are.
The birth of a child. The fiercest Rites of Passage along the course of a woman’s lifeline.
Movement into motherhood is a holy labyrinth, revealing a mystery of tricks and secrets, turn by curving turn.
Initially, the movement into mother feels like a movement away from self. Routines and passions are put on hold, the child becomes the compass to guide each day.
But the apparent movement away from self leads only to one place — deeper into self.
This paradox teaches us who and what we most deeply are as women.
I have learned that a true woman is never visible at her surface. The young maiden, immersed in material things, in prettiness, in image, in attention, is not the depth of woman. Women are sacred. Women are the givers and sustainers of life. Access to the great mystery is attainable only by losing self — in order to truly and fully return to self.
Beauty and fulfillment are not determined by the size of our body, the time we’ve taken on our hair, our face, by what we wear, who we associate with, or how many possessions we’ve attained.
True beauty is the unrelenting, overwhelming, unconditional love for the child we’ve grown, birthed, and welcomed into Life. Beauty lies in the streaks of grey that burst from unkempt hair, in the darkened eye circles, in the five-days-worn sweater, the milk leaking from our nipples, the tears rushing down our cheeks like tiny, mighty waterfalls. It lies in the stretches and folds of our once-taut skin, the reminders of our sacrifice for a far greater good — to seed a new generation.
A mother knows no bounds. She stops at nothing to give all of herself to her most miraculous creation.
It doesn’t look pretty, or feel comfortable, or transpire with ease and grace. True love is raw. The maiden must die for the mother to rise.
In the past, the greatest challenges — and the deaths of old parts of myself — have always taught me that beauty and healing lie just on the other side.
The only way out is through. If you have the courage to feel it, you will heal it.
So I am choosing to frame the challenges in this new path of motherhood in the same way.
And as we, the human race, walk through the chaos and destruction in the wake of what this year has revealed, may we have the courage to stand tall in the knowing, that The Great Mother has a plan far more miraculous than we can comprehend. From the ashes of all that has died and will die in this time, the Phoenix will be reborn, stronger than ever, rising up from the embers in the full embodiment of truth.
This is the strength required to create a New Earth. The death is necessary. Without the death, the cycle of life cannot be complete.
As everything falls away, know that you are not alone. We walk through the valley of shadows as one. You are the light. We are the light. And where one single spark of light exists, no darkness can prevail.
May you walk in grace, rebirth in courage, and honour and care for yourself and Mother Earth as you’d care for your firstborn child. A new day is dawning, rich with the golden light of purity.
BASSÉ
(Truth, in Bwiti)
This piece was originally written by Deena for the Cocreavatars International newsletter, a profound monthly sharing led by Deena’s mentor and Spiritual Grandmother Shaman Kaariina Saarinen.